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Thursday, 09 August 2012 00:00 |
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Raise a child who won't give up
The real secret to success is not getting frustrated when things seem tough. These ideas will inspire your child to try, try again.
"You can do it!" "Don't give up!" "Keep going!"
What parent hasn't shouted these time-tested words of encouragement as her child tries to take his first steps, learn to use the potty, or read on his own? Kids confront challenges, big and small, every day. And a growing body of research suggests that perseverance, the ability to stick with tough tasks, may even trump innate ability in predicting how successful kids will be in life. In a series of landmark studies involving elite performers across diverse fields such as music, sports, and medicine, K. Anders Ericsson, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Florida State University, in Tallahassee, found that individual achievement was more closely linked to drive, discipline, and dedication than to talent. But what if you happen to be raising a child who's easily frustrated -- like my 4-year-old son, Benjamin, who whines, "No, I can't!" whenever I ask him to dress himself in the morning or to write his name? While temperament makes a difference, all children can be taught to push themselves beyond where they thought they could go. Read on for guidelines that will change "I give up!" into "I did it!"
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Thursday, 02 August 2012 00:00 |
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Raise a child who loves life
Can you actually teach your kid to laugh often, be an optimist, and enjoy every day? Research says yes.
After a family trip in Florida, I'm suddenly stranded with my 3-year-old son at the airport while a blizzard tears through the Northeast. Joined by hundreds of frustrated families, I'm pretty sure we're all feeling caged and miserable. Well, almost all of us. Gabe seems to be having the time of his life. There's so much to do: enlisting new buddies in a game of hide-under-the-seats, "reading" the same picture books (for the gazillionth time), eating the junk food I so rarely allow him, and the ultimate thrill -- sleeping on the floor. Wow. Fifteen hours later, we're finally boarding the plane when Gabe grabs my hand and asks, "Mom, what day is this?" "Wednesday," I sigh wearily. "Well, let's do this again next Wednesday!"
Sure, it's great to have a kid with an upbeat attitude -- but believe me, I'm not giving myself a Mother-of-the-Year award. I tend to think he was born on the sunny side; there's even research to suggest it. Scientists are zeroing in on the possibility that a single gene could be responsible for making some people naturally positive and others pessimistic. It probably involves the production of serotonin, the brain chemical that's known to influence moods.
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